My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.

There is nothing more miserable in the world than to arrive in paradise and look like your passport photo.

Good kids are like sunsets. We take them for granted.

With all the precautions and risks that accompany sex today, it sounds about as much fun as walking through a minefield.

With girls, everything looks great on the surface. But beware of drawers that won't open. They contain a three-month supply of dirty underwear, unwashed hose, and rubber bands with blobs of hair in them.

It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.