Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood.

You have to love a nation that celebrates its independence every July 4, not with a parade of guns, tanks, and soldiers who file by the White House in a show of strength and muscle, but with family picnics where kids throw Frisbees, the potato salad gets iffy, and the flies die from happiness. You may think you have overeaten, but it is patriotism.

What does it profit a 78-year-old woman to sit around the pool in a bikini if she cannot feed herself?

If compliments were food, I'd have starved to death 28 years ago.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me'.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.