Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating?

Just think of all those women on the Titanic who said, 'No thank you' to desert that night. And for what?!

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body.

When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.

I'm so bored. I went to the food locker yesterday to visit my meat.