Do I have to use my own money?

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Grandparenthood is one of life's rewards for surviving your own children.

He opened the jar of pickles when no one else could. He was the only one in the house who wasn't afraid to go into the basement by himself. He cut himself shaving, but no one kissed it or got excited about it. It was understood when it rained, he got the car and brought it around to the door. When anyone was sick, he went out to get the prescription filled. He took lots of pictures... but he was never in them.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -- and he's a priest.

When humor go's, there go's civilization.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.