As a graduate of the Zsa Zsa Gabor School of Creative mathematics, I honestly do not know how old I am.

Some of the best fiction writers got their start writing airline menus.

Crocodiles have a smile I've seen on the face of every lawyer I've ever met.

A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up.

I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

I don't know when pepper mills in a restaurant got to be right behind frankincense and myrrh in prominence. It used to be in a little jar that sat next to the salt on the table and everyone passed it around, sneezed, and it was no big deal.

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.