If Life is a Bowl of Cherries, What Am I Doing in the Pits?

Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I've always felt there are two things a woman should never do after the age of thirty-five: stand in natural light and have a baby.

Did you ever notice that the first piece of luggage on the carousel never belongs to anyone?