My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.
Erma BombeckMen who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.
Erma BombeckWith boys you always know where you stand. Right in the path of a hurricane. It's all there. The fruit flies hovering over their waste can, the hamster trying to escape to cleaner air, the bedrooms decorated in Early Bus Station Restroom.
Erma BombeckThe odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to one.
Erma Bombeck