I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

not all bears have their own television series. Some of them are unemployed wild animals.

If anyone knew where they were, I'd send the ISDBB (Incredibly Stupid and Dumb Beyond Belief) award to the two guys who tried to break in to the Ohio penitentiary.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Never be in a hurry to terminate a marriage. Remember, you may need this man/woman to finish a sentence.

Phone are wonderful instruments, but I wouldn't want our daughter to marry one.

There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.