I learned the importance of a man's chair early in life. I learned that he may love several wives, embrace several cars, be true to more than one political philosophy, and be equally committed to several careers, but he will have only one comfortable chair in his life. I learned it will be an ugly chair. It will match nothing in the entire house. It will never wear out.

Why would anyone steal a shopping cart? It's like stealing a two-year-old.

One never realizes how different a husband and wife can be until they begin to pack for a trip.

The hippopotamus is a vegetarian and looks like a wall. Lions who eat only red meat are sleek and slim. Are nutritionists on the wrong track?

Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

For some of us, watching a miniseries that lasts longer than most marriages is not easy.