When humor goes, there goes civilization.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

What makes people laugh? . . . It's a happy marriage between a person who needs to laugh and someone who's got one to give.

Not everyone is comfortable with the kissing ritual. My husband is one of them. Her refuses to press lips with anyone except his wife, mother, and dog. If someone wanted to give him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, he would refuse until he had been formally introduced.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.