Somewhere it is written that parents who are critical of other people's children and publicly admit they can do better are asking for it.

Let us hope manufacturers can come up with a diaper that is environmentally sound. To go back to cloth would send us back to the day when breathing and raising a baby at the same time were incompatible.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

It is my theory you can't get rid of fat. All you can do is move it around, like furniture.

The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

On vacations: We hit the sunny beaches where we occupy ourselves keeping the sun off our skin, the saltwater off our bodies, and the sand out of our belongings.