Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

Family life got better and we got our car back - as soon as we put 'I love Mom' on the license plate.

The woman who says, 'My kids are all speaking to one another and they love us' is a psychopathic liar.

Children make your life important.

It would have been a wonderful wedding - had it not been mine.

People usually survive their illnesses, but the paper work eventually does them in. Filing a claim for insurance is terminal.

In Russia, as I sat there day after day wearing headphones, listening to the interpreter struggle to make our words relevant, I wondered if we could establish meaningful rapport with a nation that had never seen raisins dance in dark glasses on TV...never had a garage sale.