Early in my life I had made a pact with myself. I would never eat anything that moved when I cooked it, excited the dog, or inflated upon impact with my teeth.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

A grandparent is the only baby-sitter who doesn't charge more after midnight - or anything before midnight.

Some say the antique syndrome surfaced to offset the newness of the land, the homes, and the settlers. Some say the interest was initiated by a desire to return to the roots of yesterday. I contend the entire movement to acquire antiques was born out of sheer respect of things that lasted longer than fifteen minutes.

I originate from a family where sauce is viewed as a refreshment.

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.