Throughout the years I have set up my own rules about eating food: Never eat anything you can't pronounce. Beware of food that is described as, "Some Americans say it tastes like chicken.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.