No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.

For years, my husband and I have advocated separate vacations. But the kids keep finding us.

If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it.

My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.

Do you know what you call those who use towels and never wash them, eat meals and never do the dishes, sit in rooms they never clean, and are entertained till they drop? If you have just answered, 'A house guest,' you're wrong because I have just described my kids.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?