A small waist makes you tire easily.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: 'Checkout Time is 18 years.'

When the history of guilt is written, parents who refuse their children money will be right up there in the Top Ten.

My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it.