No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

Authorities say brain cells may shrink, but they don't necessarily die. Frankly, I am cheered by the fact that something is shrinking. I'd be even more thrilled if what was shrinking affected my dress size, but you can't have everything.

My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill.

I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars.

Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?'

There is so much to teach, and the time goes so fast.