There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

I firmly believe kids don't want your understanding. They want your trust, your compassion, your blinding love and your car keys, but you try to understand them and you're in big trouble.

Maybe you know why a child can reject a hot dog with mustard served on a soft bun at home, yet eat six of them two hours later at fifty cents each.

Never order food in excess of your body weight.

Grandmas can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come.

My idea of 'roughing it' is when you have to have an extension for your electric blanket.