Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.

In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.

There are people who put their dreams in a little box and say, 'Yes, I've got dreams, of course I've got dreams.' Then they put the box away and bring it out once in awhile to look in it, and yep, they're still there. These are great dreams, but they never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of super sophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.

I lost everything in the post-natal depression.