Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

I'm on a diet as my skin doesn't fit me anymore.

Time. It hangs heavy for the bored, eludes the busy, flies by the for young, and runs out for the aged.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

Cats invented self-esteem.

Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.

If God had meant us to walk around naked, he would never have invented the wicker chair.