Everyone I talked to was a recording-the bank, the elevator, your office, the school, a wrong number. You used to be able to call a wrong number and get a person.

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born.

One certainty when you travel is the moment you arrive in a foreign country, the American dollar will fall like a stone.

When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.

My mother phones daily to ask, "Did you just try to reach me?" When I reply no, she adds, "So, if you're not too busy, call me while I'm still alive," . . . and hangs up.

[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.