There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.

My type of humor is almost pure identification. A housewife reads my column and says, 'But that's happened to ME! I know just what she's talking about!

Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown.

I used everything you gave me.

Men who have a thirty-six-tele vised-football- games-a- week-habit should be declared legally dead and their estates probated.

My mother won't admit it, but I've always been a disappointment to her. Deep down inside, she'll never forgive herself for giving birth to a daughter who refuses to launder aluminium foil and use it over again.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.