I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

Bombeck's Rug Rule: an ugly carpet will last for ever.

My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.

When you're lecturing teenagers and they begin to hum and leave the room, you can sense there is hostility.

Adults can take a simple holiday for Children and screw it up. What began as a presentation of simple gifts to delight and surprise children around the Christmas tree has culminated in a woman unwrapping six shrimp forks from her dog, who drew her name.

[On her father's death:] I didn't know his leaving would hurt so much.

A child develops individuality long before he develops taste.