When you leave them in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later.

I don't think women outlive men, Doctor. It only seems longer.

It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.

I will never understand children. I never pretended to. I meet mothers all the time who make resolutions to themselves. 'I'm going to ... go out of my way to show them I am interested in them and what they do. I am going to understand my children.' These women end up making rag rugs, using blunt scissors.

The bad times I can handle. It's the good times that drive me crazy. When is the other shoe going going to drop?

Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you.

There is one thing I have never taught my body how to do and that is to figure out at 6 A.M. what it wants to eat at 6 P.M.