My son did not show signs of a money deficiency until he opened his small fist in the nursery and found it was empty.

I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses.

I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.

You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.

Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing.

People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.

Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.