There is only one thing harder in this world than forgiving. It's to ask forgiveness armed only with, 'I'm sorry'.

I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.

There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'.

Shopping is a woman thing. It's a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death, and the ecstasy of the purchase.

The more I think about it, the more there is to be said for the sloth. He sleeps fifteen to eighteen hours a day and is known to have taken forty-eight days to travel four miles. He hangs in the trees after he's dead. But he lives longer than the cheetah.

When humor go's, there go's civilization.

Housework, if you do it right, will kill you.