Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

You know how sometimes when you're drunk you say something you sort of regret... to Ace Frehley?

I can kill a dog in six ways. Five of them are throwing missiles at it.

It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.

I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.

A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.

I'm fascinated by the logic that leads to something.