Yes, I'm known as America's most genuine comedian.

When years from now people look back on today, they will think the same thing they already do but with more reasons for it.

People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.

It's weird - the cab driver is playing very loud dance music and yet it doesn't really feel like a party.

Don't throw a baby at anything - even a burglar.

Think of me as an impetuous Hegel, drunk with power, and also, regular drunk.

Some tips for life: 1.Don't be afraid to follow your dreams, unless your dreams are stupid. 2.Be kind to people. 3.Don't get too excited when you read the Fountainhead 4.In times of recession, it is time for invention. 5.Things can kill you, so keep that in mind, you fearless know it alls.