People used to make fun of alternative comedy because sometimes it would be someone being funny, and sometimes it was a crazy man with a flute making no sense. And it's very easy to be like, yeah, that's not really comedy.

On a scale of one to ten, how punk am I? Apple. I don't use your scale.

I don't think you should invest in commodities. Eddie Murphy made it seem risky in Trading Places.

The good thing about being stuck at the airport for an extra hour, is that it gives you a chance to give weary travelers surprise massages.

Is the square root of hate the same thing as love times love?

I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.

I don't have a kid, but I think that I would be a good father, especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.