A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.

One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

It must be a good thing to be good or ivrybody wudden't be pretendin' he was.

There's always wan encouragin' thing about th' sad scientific facts that come out ivrv week in th' pa-apers. They're usually not thrue.

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it