What is instinct? It is the natural tendency in one when filled with dismay to turn to his wife.

A firm belief atthracts facts. They come out iv holes in the ground an' cracks in th' wall to support belief, but they run away fr'm doubt.

Many a man that couldn't direct ye to th' drug store on th' corner when he was thirty will get a respectful hearin' when age has further impaired his mind.

Viceis a creature of such heejous mienthat th' more ye see it th' betther ye like it.

Alcohol is necessary for a man so that he can have a good opinion of himself, undisturbed by the facts.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.