Don't jump on a man unless he is down.

I niver knew a pollytician to go wrong ontil he's been contaminated by contact with a business man.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

When the American people get through with the English language, it will look as if it had been run over by a musical comedy.

The last man that makes a joke owns it.

Drink never made a man better, but it has made many a man think he was better.

Freedom is like drink. If you take any at all, you might as well take enough to make you happy for a while.