One of the strangest things about life is that the poor, who need the money the most, are the ones that never have it.

Most vegetarians look so much like the food they eat that they can be classified as cannibals.

Work is work if you're paid to do it, and it's a pleasure if you pay to be allowed to do it.

The wise people are in New York because the foolish went there first, that's the way the wise men make a living.

There are no friends at cards or world politics

Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards.