A man can be right and president, but he can't be both at the same time.

An appeal is when you ask one court to show its contempt for another court.

A Mormon is a man that has the bad taste and the religion to do what a good many other people are restrained from doing by conscientious scruples and the police.

A game you play with your own worst enemy-yourself.

If a man is wise, he gets rich an' if he gets rich, he gets foolish, or his wife does. That's what keeps the money movin' around.

Swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

I wonder why you can always read a doctor's bill and you can never read his prescription.