A lie with a purpose is one of the worst kind, and the most profitable
The last man that makes a joke owns it.
A man never becomes an orator if he has anything to say.
You can lade a man up to th' university, but ye can't make him think.
It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.
There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.