Th' first thing to have in a libry is a shelf. Fr'm time to time this can be decorated with lithrachure. But th' shelf is th' main thing.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Most vegetarians I ever see looked enough like their food to be classed as cannibals.

There aint any news in being good. You might write the doings of all the convents of the world on the back of a postage stamp, and have room to spare.

It [Thanksgiving] was founded by the Puritans to give thanks for bein' preserved from the Indians, an' we keep it to give thanks we are preserved from the Puritans.

I care not who makes th' laws iv a nation, if I can get out an injunction.