You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.