It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

What you see is what you get.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.