It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Funny is an attitude.

My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.