Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

Violence is a tool of the ignorant.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.