When you're hot, you're hot; when you're not, you're not.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

Being a comedian is like being a con man. You have to make 'em like you before you can fool 'em.

Being your own man does not mean taking advantage of anyone else.

The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.

I think Mr. Wilson will have to be the rest of the way alone.