My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?
The cost of living is going up and the chance of living is going down.
Funny is an attitude.
Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.
What you see is what you get.
I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.