Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.
My main point is to be funny; if I can slip a message in there, fine.
My happiest memory of childhood was my first birthday in reform school. This teacher took an interest in me. In fact, he gave me the first birthday presents I ever got: a box of Cracker Jacks and a can of ABC shoe polish.
Don't order one for the road, because the road is already laid out.
Funny is an attitude.
My show is my statement. What I have to say is on the screen. My life is my own. I don't want to talk about my private self. Why should I?