Funny is an attitude.

You can't expect to hit the jackpot if you don't put a few nickels in the machine.

Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun.

It would be ridiculous for me to say anything negative regarding blacks having an equal opportunity on TV.

Funny is not a color. Being black is only good from the time you get from the curtain to the microphone.

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season. What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal, I don't want it.

Things can be funny only when we are in fun. When we're 'dead earnest,' humor is the only thing that is dead.