The Apologizer Bunny keeps going and going and going.

It's the Government's job to print the money, deliver the mail and declare war. Now give me my cigarettes.

Agoraphobia was my quirky armor against a gregarious America.

The proliferation of support groups suggests to me that too many Americans are growing up in homes that do not contain a grandmoth.

He travels fastest who travels alone, and that goes double for she. Real feminism is spinsterhood.

Each time a mediocre singer performs, he is saying, in effect, "This is good enough for you." The audience, thrust into that familiar American mood of knowing something is wrong but not knowing what it is, unconsciously absorbs the insult and projects it back onto the mediocre performer in the form of inattention, rudeness and noise.

Americans worship creativity the way they worship physical beauty - as a way of enjoying elitism without guilt: God did it.