Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

Commercials and sometimes other guests - it's the down side of TV. Other people - it's the downside of life in general.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

If you read a lot, nothing is as great as you've imagined. Venice is - Venice is better.

No one earns $100 million. You steal $100 million.

Television turned out to be exactly as bad as the most irritating and pedantic intellectuals of the '50s said it was going to be.

The good thing about being in someone else's apartment is it's so much easier to leave than it is to get someone out.