Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It's very psychically wearing not to write - I mean if you're supposed to be writing.

Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn't known you long enough.

Albert Einstein didn't care where he lived. Albert Einstein was a genius. Albert Einstein wasn't getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.

I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.

Girls who put out are tramps. Girls who don't are ladies. This is, however, a rather archaic usage of the word. Should one of you boys happen upon a girl who doesn't put out, do not jump to the conclusion that you have found a lady. What you have probably found is a Lesbian.

If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.

I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.