Even if people aren't Republicans, it doesn't seem shocking to them that Ronald Reagan was the president. Well of course, because Arnold Schwarzenegger was the governor! This is not only a bar too low, this is no bar at all. I don't care who you are, you know 20 people smarter than Ronald Reagan. You know 20 people who would be a better president than Ronald Reagan.

Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.

Now people need special costumes to ride bicycles. I mean, a helmet, what, are you an astronaut??

If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words.

There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.

Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?

Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.