If you don't have children and you don't have a job, you have time for friendship ... People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It's better to be friends with people who are unemployed.

Take away a man's actual sense of manhood - which is conventionally based on the ability to work, to earn money, to be self-sufficient, to provide for children - and you've got to give them something else. And they did.

If, while watching the sun set on a used-car lot in Los Angeles, you are struck by the parallels between this image and the inevitable fate of humanity, do not, under any circumstances, write it down.

If people don't hold grudges, it means they just don't care what people do.

All of television's appalling, but this is hardly a new statement.

I'm like the laziest person who ever lived. It's amazing to me I even sit up.

I've always been old at heart.