The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

Without these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Donald Trump is not my fault. You can blame certain things on me, but not Donald Trump.

Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as far as I am concerned, the entire point of being an adult. It makes growing up genuinely worthwhile. I am quite well aware of the hazards of smoking. Smoking is not a healthful pastime, it is true. Smoking is indeed no bracing dip in the ocean, no strenuous series of calisthenics, no two laps around the reservoir. On the other hand, smoking has to its advantage the fact that is a quiet pursuit. Smoking is, in effect a dignified sport.

I woke up at five o'clock in the morning with the whole first paragraph in my head. Now, this just shows what a slothful person I am: I tried to go back to sleep.

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.