The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass.

Your grandparents did not endure the indignities of a steerage journey to Ellis Island so that you could stand outside a discothèque and beg a wallpaper designer to take you in with him.

I, unfortunately, take the subway a lot. It's not my preference, but it is my lot in life.

I have a hard time writing. Most writers have a hard time writing. I have a harder time than most because I'm lazier than most. I don't want to brag, but I'm the laziest person I have ever known.

Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult.