If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct.

Did it ever occur to anyone that if you put nice libraries in public schools you wouldn't have to put them in prisons?

Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want it back.

Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I've ever encountered. It takes it out of you. It's very psychically wearing not to write - I mean if you're supposed to be writing.

There are some short essays that are very grave, and most contemporary novels are lighter than air.

It is not true that there is dignity in all work. Some jobs are definitely better than others.... People who have good jobs are happy, rich, and well dressed. People who have bad jobs are unhappy, poor and use meat extenders. Those who seek dignity in the type of work that compels them to help hamburgers are certain to be disappointed.