I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.

We live in a culture where everyone is perfectly willing to do this [to make a lot of money], and they're just looking for the opportunity. Obviously, a person who is really dumb is not gonna make a zillion dollars. But for a person who is really smart, really smart, it's a boring pursuit. It's not endlessly fascinating.

When I saw a phone on a plane for the first time, I panicked ... I thought people were going to call me.

Do not have your child's hair cut by a real hairdresser in a real hairdressing salon. He is, at this point, far too short to be exposed to contempt.

I don't like the kind of country living where you have to help. I like country living where there is help.