I never met anyone who didn't have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?

China is not a great idea: capitalism and a dictator. It's like the two worst possible things you could imagine together. It's a very bad idea.

A great many people in Los Angeles are on special diets that restrict their intake of synthetic foods. The reason for this appears to be a widely held belief that organically grown fruits and vegetables make the cocaine work faster.

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Breakfast cereals that come in the same colors as polyester leisure suits make oversleeping a virtue.

When I was young, I liked romance. But to me, romance is the opposite of domestic life. I just don't want anyone in the apartment, not for longer than a few hours.