While it is undeniably true that people love a surprise, it is equally true that they are seldom pleased to suddenly and without warning happen upon a series of prunes in what they took to be a normal loin of pork.

Frenchman: Germans with good food.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.

I believe that at birth everyone gets the capacity for a certain amount of drugs and alcohol, everyone the same, you can do it all between 15 and 19 like I did, or you can stretch it out over 70 years.

I drove a cab. But all the girls I knew when I was young who had to work - there were rich girls - but the ones who had to work were waitresses. Because you could always get shifts in a restaurant.

Don't bother discussing sex with small children. They rarely have anything to add.