Magazines all too frequently lead to books and should be regarded by the prudent as the heavy petting of literature.

I wouldn't say that I dislike the young. I'm simply not a fan of naïveté.

I wish that real estate were cheaper and clothes were more expensive.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

The only appropriate response to the question, 'Can I be frank?' is, 'Yes, if I can be Barbara.

Educational television should be absolutely forbidden. It can only lead to unreasonable disappointment when your child discovers that the letters of the alphabet do not leap up out of books and dance around with royal-blue chickens.

Until I was about 7, I thought books were just there, like trees. When I learned that people actually wrote them, I wanted to, too, because all children aspire to inhuman feats like flying. Most people grow up to realize they can't fly. Writers are people who don't grow up to realize they can't be God.