[On not reading newspapers:] If something important happens, your mother calls you.

I just write when fear overtakes me.

I could not possibly be in a relationship now for more than six days. When I was younger, I might have said six months, although I think the longest relationship I was ever in was three years.

Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut of meat.

Special-interest publications should realize that if they are attracting enough advertising and readers to make a profit, the interest is not so special.

Frenchman: Germans with good food.

If people don't want to listen to you, what makes you think they want to hear from your sweater?