My favorite animal is steak.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.

To me the outdoors is what you must pass through in order to get from your apartment into a taxicab.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

It is, in fact, safe to assume that, more often than not, life imitates craft, for who among us can say that our experience does not more closely resemble a macramé plant holder than it does a painting by Seurat. When it comes to art, life is the biggest copycat in the matter of the frame.

How do you know if your child is a writer? Your obstetrician holds his stethoscope to your abdomen and only hears excuses.