Technological innovation has done great damage ... to eating habits. Food is now available in such unpleasant forms that one frequently finds smoking between courses to be an aid to digestion.
Fran LebowitzAs a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
Fran LebowitzWithout these tourists, New York would be fantastic. I don't want them to come. Stay home!
Fran LebowitzNo animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.
Fran LebowitzI love sleep because it is both pleasant and safe to use. Pleasant because one is in the best possible company and safe because sleep is the consummate protection against the unseemliness that is the invariable consequence of being awake. What you don't know won't hurt you. Sleep is death without the responsibility.
Fran Lebowitz